Relationships Aren’t the Right Venue for Men With a Sexual Bias

A woman who begins a relationship shouldn’t have to deal with a man’s sexual bias issues. Relationships that have the best chance for success don’t include those in which men have strong, anti-feminist attitudes.

I’m continually shocked by the number of men who boldly, and without any apparent fear of reprisal or rejection, attack women in every manner possible, in print and out loud. Women in the workplace, dating, sexual attitudes, etc, are problems with which some men inexplicably struggle, and they blame women for their struggle.

The Women’s Movement is typically the root cause some men embrace to spew their hatred for women. What I’ve noticed is that when I write about misogyny, the crazies come out of the woodwork, and accuse me of misandry. I looked up misandry in the Merriam-Webster dictionary because I’d never heard the word before. In fact, my Microsoft Word program flagged it as a non-word. The dictionary definition is short and to the point, a hatred for men.

I’ve been working with men for over twenty years to help them achieve their goals by teaching them how to work through their male specific issues. I should be the last person to be accused of hating men, but I’ve been accused of a misandry by several men who host websites that espouse hatred and fear of women.

I can only wonder what type of man could hold such hostility in his heart for women, and I can only hope that women are smart enough to sniff these misguided men out before accepting a date with them.

I remember when the Women’s Movement began decades ago, and while there was some amount of anger regarding how women had been kept in low job positions and paid less than men, I don’t recall Gloria Steinem or any of her associates expressing any hatred for men. But that fact doesn’t seem to matter to those men who need to hate women to justify their failures in relationships with them.

When I ponder these men, what comes to mind immediately is that none could possibly be in a relationship with a woman, and none are likely to ever be, either. I suspect that their social ineptness is the real cause for their hatred towards women. While no man appreciates being rejected by a woman, 99% seem to get that their rejection isn’t the result of a man-hating woman. I’ve experienced some amount of misogyny in my men’s groups over twenty years, and when it’s come up, I’ve suggested that man look deeper into his heart to understand why he feels as he does.

Invariably, men who hold this animosity towards women have been rejected, and rather than trying to figure out what happened, they decided to hate women instead, It’s certainly easier than digging into the real reasons for their misogyny.

After all, how could any sane, normal woman reject me? I’m a prince amongst men, so my behavior couldn’t have been the reason I was dumped. She must simply hate men. Okay, then I hate women in return. That these men aren’t ten-years old is shocking considering their irrational behavior is that of a ten-year old boy.

That’s about the depth of intellect behind sexual bias, and it would be wise for women to ask men they just met, how they feel about misogyny and misandry. In truth, these men are so dogmatic about women they can’t hold themselves back from telling their truth, proudly and loudly.

That’s when a woman should pay for her coffee, push back from the table, and run.

For twenty years, author and lecturer Ken Solin has helped men move beyond the issues that limit their lives. Both men and women follow Ken since his work is primarily about relationships.